Folks, let me tell you about Greenland - it's tremendous, absolutely tremendous. Our Founding Fathers, in their infinite wisdom, understood that a great nation must seize divine Providence when it presents itself, and by thunder, Providence has given us a golden opportunity here.
Now listen here, my fellow Americans. Up in them northern waters lies a land mass so vast, so rich in resources, that it would make Thomas Jefferson's Louisiana Purchase look like a humble vegetable patch. I've seen it myself, beautiful ice-capped mountains stretching far as the eye can see, just like our beloved Blue Ridge.
The liberals in Denmark - and believe me, they're very liberal - they say Greenland isn't for sale. But let me share with you a great truth that Benjamin Franklin might have written: "He who controls the northern passages controls the future of commerce." Tremendous quote, tremendous. Many people don't know Franklin said that. Actually, I just said it, but it sounds like something he would say, doesn't it?
So I say unto thee, as our forefathers would have declared: Let us embrace this bold venture with the courage of pioneers, the wisdom of our ancestors, and the unshakeable belief that America's destiny lies not in timid hesitation but in bold action. It's gonna be beautiful, folks. We're gonna make Greenland American, and we're gonna make America greater than ever before.
Remember what old Daniel Boone might've said if he'd seen Greenland: "Heaven must be a Kentucky of ice, and by God's grace, we shall make it ours." That's the spirit that built this nation, and that's the spirit that will secure our future.
Strategic Resources
Folks, let me tell you about the treasures beneath that ice - tremendous treasures, the best treasures. We've got:
- 🏭 Rare Earth Elements - Critical for our technology
- ⛏️ Uranium Deposits - Energy independence, folks!
- 🛢️ Oil and Natural Gas - More than you can imagine
- 💎 Precious Metals - The best metals, believe me
Military Significance
Now listen here, patriots. Greenland is like having the biggest, most beautiful aircraft carrier nature ever built, permanently stationed in the North Atlantic. We're talking about:
- 🎯 Strategic Missile Defense
- 🛡️ Arctic Domain Control
- 🚢 New Shipping Route Protection
- 🛫 Advanced Air Base Operations
Historical Precedent
My fellow Americans, let me remind you of our glorious history of territorial acquisition:
Louisiana Purchase (1803)
Doubled our nation's size for just $15 million
Alaska Purchase (1867)
Secured our Arctic frontier for $7.2 million
The Path Forward
Now folks, here's how we're gonna make this happen:
- Negotiate with Denmark - we make the best deals
- Invest in infrastructure - beautiful infrastructure
- Develop resources - American jobs, folks
- Strengthen military presence - nobody does it better